Our Diplomacy league is the most active in North America. We average more than two league games per month in addition to Tournament play. We score all of our games using the Sum of Squares scoring system, and each player's best three scores count toward the season standings. We are known for our fierce competition, strong traditions, upstanding character and trustworthiness, and the propensity for Turkey to open to Armenia.
Times Turkey Opened to Armenia
THE WEEKLY WEASEL ACCOMPLISHES NEW THINGS
But, like, for real though guys, the season is picking up and this might actually become weekly again.
BTOAB ESCAPES CARNAGE SHINING SILVER
A contingent of Weasels trekked out to Carnage for Dipcon, the American Diplomacy Championship. Bull Weasel and two-time defending Weasel of the Year Brandon “BTOAB” Fogel came home with the second place trophy, just behind champion Doug "Also the World Champ" Moore. This is a tremendous accomplishment as only one Weasel has ever won Dipcon.
As a new club policy, Weasels who podium at a Grand Prix event will get their own interview feature here on the Weekly Weasel. Keep an eye out for that, and say congrats to the BTOAB on a job well done!
GOAT CLIMBS HIGHER AS CLOCK STRIKES 13
We’ve had two games this month that both represent personal bests for the toppers. First, goat aficionado Jake Langenfeld broke baaaaad by dropping a 51-point Turkish effort. Then, Chris Kelly broke out with a 13 dot, 62-point Austrian assault. This puts Kelly and Langenfeld as the early front men for the 2018 season.
DECK THE HALLS WITH FLEETS IN HOLLAND
Two games coming up. First on Sunday the 3rd, former World Champ Chris “Dancing Queen” Martin will be joining us at Johnny G’s abode. Then on Saturday the 9th, Matt “Guitar” Sundstrom is hosting a house game. We also usually do a Christmas bonus bar game, which I’m sure will be put on the books for Thursday the 21st if I ask Santa real nicely. Sign up here.
Hit the jump for news on the Wise Old Weasel, scoring system changes, and a crucial change to the way the club asks for dues.
As the saying goes, change is inevitable; progress is optional. We're pleased to report that your Sneak just made a change that we believe represents progress.
For the first time since League Play was established in Season 4 (2008-09), we've changed the formula for calculating cumulative scores. Fret not! We'll continue to score games using the greatest of all scoring systems, the Sum of Squares. (We adopted that change in Season 6, 2010-11.) However, effective immediately, we will no longer count only your top three scores. For Season 13 (and hopefully beyond), #AllScoresMatter.
By a vote of 4-2 on November 8, the Sneak adopted the Make All Scores Matter Act (MIASMA), which established the following formula for calculating cumulative scores:
THE WEEKLY WEASEL PREVIEWS ROYALE
Celebrating our club’s most competitive annual tradition, the Weasel Royale Championship Game
This FINAL Weekly Weasel of the 2017 season will preview our second to final board. The next Weekly Weasel will be our 2018 preview, which will come out sometime before the next bar game.
WEASTATS Pre-stats: Your player overview featuring embarrassing photos, statistics, and super sexy radar charts
Pardon my French Method: A brief overview of our championship power selection
The 8th Place Prognostication: Our newest club honor where the Weasel who just missed the cut with provide our Royale Prediction. This year’s honorary Prognosticator: Bryan Pravel
But before we hear who will be our Bull Weasel, let’s meet the bullshitters contenders!
THE WEEKLY WEASEL PREPS FOR PYLE
Election email going out this evening, 3 days til college football, 4 days til we strike the regimental, 5 days til celebration of Labor. It’s a great week to be a Weasel.
COME NOW WEASELS…
Our club’s most revered tradition, the Weasel Pyle, is this Sunday at Casa O’Kelley. We have 22 24 players signed up, including a sizeable Old Guard Contingent. Come play Diplomacy -- the fun starts at 11, but if we have 6 willing players at 320ish, your writer will actually get to play in the late game. Awards to follow.
THE WEEKLY WEASEL AIN’T DEAD YET
Featured this week: terrible, terrible puns. Yes, they're worse than usual.
A ROARing Finish
Our last game of the Bar Room Brawl is this evening, meaning that this is your last chance to qualify for the BAR ROOM BRAWL TITLE BOUT (and a chance at winning your name on Cockerill’s Orb)! Swing by the Red Lion at 6:30 for the festivities.
A raging election
It’s that time of year, folks. Sneak elections occur at the Pyle. Any paid up members can vote, any paid up members can run. 3 spots are open, we have 1 incumbent and a couple other candidates who have indicated interest. If you are interested in running for the Sneak, send an email to Jake, your Chief of Public Information, by 8/16. Also reach out if you have any questions.
Newsflash: Jim O’Kelley does not suck at Diplomacy
It seems reports of the club founder’s death have been greatly exaggerated. Jim dropped a sizeable German board top at last week’s reunion bar game, where we welcomed back ex-pat Christian MacDonald. After spending the majority of the season outside the Top 7, Jim’s top has secured him a place in the Royale and continues his momentum since winning CODCON. This development is particularly painful to hear because we here at the Weekly Weasel had a joke prepared for Pyle had Jim failed to make the top 7.
“Jim said he needed to take a step back this year for his marriage, and he did an excellent job at that, missing the Weasel Royale for the first time.”
We’ll be here all week, folks. For a recap and other jokes straight from the comedy cemetery, hit up the recap here.
THE WEEKLY WEASEL EMBRACES THE INEVITABLE
Oh hey folks. Been a while. How are things, what’s new? Let me just check the league standings real quick and…
BREAKING NEWS: FOGEL DOMINATES LEAGUE
This month’s bar game had a not-so-friendly reminder that diplomacy is a game where 7 players push blocks around a map of Europe for a few hours and in the end Brandon wins. Except this time it was by 75. Not a score of 75, his margin was 75. This vaults the Biggest Threat on Any Board to 198 points on the year, first in the league by a whopping 30 points. Game recaps incoming here.
Now, we have to give some credit where credit is due. Jim called the game a “batting practice fastball,” but herding cats for four hours is a damn tough job, even if they’re just kittens. Herding kittens to the highest non-solo score in league history is even more impressive. In fact, why don’t we make a list of all the impressive things BTOABrandon has accomplished this year:
Moot is two weeks away from today at DIVERSEY BOWL #themootabides. But before that, we here at the Weekly Weasel need your help!
IS THIS YOUR HOMEWORK, LARRY?
I need your help, folks, to help me help you. One of our goals here as Weasels is developing championship players. I am working on developing some worksheets/ tools to help players self-evaluate their games. Ideally, I’ll post these right after Moot, when all but one of us is wondering why we didn’t win the tournament / why we suck at diplomacy.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts and recos.
OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE NOT A GOLFER
Because you’ll be playing diplomacy at Weasel Moot two weeks from RIGHT NOW! 4 rounds with one drop round, so it’s okay if the bar eats you and you have to mark it zero, dude. The moot will abide starting 6/23---sign up here.
THE WEEKLY WEASEL GETS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
Miley Cyrus week here at the Weekly Weasel. It's our party- we can do what we want.
I CAME IN LIKE A RUSSIAN BALL
Russia is blasting to a comparatively excellent season, with the second highest average score and tied for the second highest number of board tops. Game 341 was no exception, as Bryan Pravel pushed the Russian Resurgence at last week’s bar game, securing a 9 center board top and moving himself into the top 7 on the year. Following his best Russia performance at CODCON, Pravel has now topped 3 of his last four boards as Mother Russia (shout out to the research department here at the Weekly Weasel, who pulled that stat.) Ali Adib also picked up points in a second place performance. Game results here.
THE SEVEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
Tuesday night brings a bonus bar game, with seven players set to play at the aptly named Seven, a restaurant in Brian Shelden’s apartment building. Should be a fascinating board- three vets, two Trottas (Papa and Ian), and two rookies. Your writer was going to play, but got scheduled for focus groups Tuesday evening, and will thus be arriving late to help coach and yell at the Golden State Warriors. We’ll have to settle for A Tale of Two Trottas instead of the Trotta, Trotta, Trotta sequel. Hint hint at what the game headline will be.
Festivities kick off at 630. Coin flip whether there will be post game karaoke. If history is any indication, that coin flip turns to a certainty should the Prime Weasel hear anything by Sugarland.
THERE’S ALWAYS GONNA BE ANOTHER MOUNTAIN…
Speaking of Seven and feminine karaoke ballads about life's journey, “The Climb” for Weasel Royale is remarkably competitive this year. Following Pravel’s board top, the top 7 all have scores exceeding 100 points, with four veterans close behind. While the top 3 spots are likely secure, we have 8 players competing for the final four spots in our club’s championship. With three months remaining, there is plenty of time for additional challengers to stake their claim in what should be a bloodbath of a home stretch.
WE CAN’T STOP. AND WE WON’T STOP.
The final year brought red cups and sweaty bodies everywhere, but Game 340 ended with Jake Trotta extending his personal league topping streak to 3. The nine center effort brings him one short of Brandon Fogel’s presumed record streak of 4 consecutive tops (research department is working round the clock on this, folks.) Check out some fine AARs, where Trotta did presciently predict the result of game 341.
PARTY IN THE USA
The Wise Old Weasel is back with a patriotic vengeance. The WOW: France appeared last week, and your writer could not bring himself to say nice things about France, so it was rewritten as the WOW: America. Brandon posited that this may be due to some Italian inferiority complex; your writer has no defense in that regard. Share your best baguette battle strategies here.