The Wise Old Weasel (6)

Friday, 05 May 2017 14:54

The Wise Old Weasel -- France

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THE WISE OLD WEASEL: FRANCE
I’m supposed to say nice things about French culture here. But here’s the truth: Napoleon was a goddamn Italian, and France lost both World Wars. They invented the word “surrender.”

France is so laughably overpowered on the diplomacy board, with their embarrassment of neutrals, difficult to play neighbors, arguably second best defensive position in the game, and natural resting state along the stalemate line. In diplomacy, France is unquestionably the best. They practically always win. It's almost like the game was created for them to dominate. Wait a minute...

Folks… France is the AMERICA of diplomacy.

So fuck your cake. It’s 1917, and the real freaking heroes are finally here. Grab your bacon and apple pie, because Operation: Dip Freedom is coming through.

This Wise Old Weasel is all about TEAM FREEDOM. 

 

THE WISE OLD WEASEL: AMERICA

PREAMBLE
Team Freedom, World's Greatest Nation and normally the strongest nation on the board, is having a great year, winning 13 of 30 boards so far. This nearly doubles the second place nation, but still does not match our dominance in World Series Championships. You're freaking welcome, every other country.

Perhaps the most difficult challenge in playing America is the same challenge as being an American- what do I do with all this FREEDOM?

REMOVE YOUR HATS FOR YOUR PATRIOTIC INSPIRATION

We thank France for the Statue of Liberty, democratic revolutions, and pissing off England.  The greatest country in the world perfected all 3.

All right, Weasels. Uncle Sam needs you. How do you play France America?

Hit the jump for some great American history, ballads of bald eagle resurgences, how we have the best allies, and more.

Wednesday, 15 March 2017 16:07

THE WISE OLD WEASEL STABS THE DAY

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THE WISE OLD WEASEL STABS THE DAY

Weasels, it is the Ides of March, the date of the most famous stab in human history.

Julius Caesar, renowned politician, general, diplomatic, lover and Protector of Rome took Italy all the way to 17 centers in 44 BC, with all of France, Belgium, Iberia, all of Italy, Tunis, Trieste, Serbia, Greece, Bul, and all of Turkey. (Yes, we here at the Wise Old Weasel counted the dots.)

But just before he could call himself Julius Solo, Caesar’s senate compatriots formed a grand alliance to stop him. Antony, Caesar’s most loyal ally, gave a moving eulogy… and summarily pardoned the assassins.

Today is a day we celebrate the stab, the crux of this great game we call diplomacy. Whether you are Casca, rushing into the shoulder blade first, Cassius, who swung for the face and missed, or Brutus, the beloved brother who stuck a sword in his side, we all have our memorable stabs.

On this Ides of March, do not merely beware, but relish in the thrill of stabbing and, yes, being stabbed.

So, Weasels, let us stab the day and share our great war stories and sage stab advice below.

Tuesday, 28 February 2017 16:53

The Wise Old Weasel -- Austria

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The hills are alive with the sound of music- but will you be around to hear it? Greece and Bulgaria are some of my favorite things, but you need a German older and wiser keeping Russia out of Gal for you! Can climb every mountain? Will Edelweiss bless your homeland forever? Or will F02 leave you singing “so long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu?”

Grab your bags and your rich Uncle Max! This, Weasels, is where we share our wisdom.

Monday, 16 January 2017 01:34

The Wise Old Weasel-- Russia

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A gray sky surrounds the grayer plains… or is it snow? There is nothing around except a few bare trees, no one to talk to, no place for respite. It is cold, damn cold. There is no more Ritz to be Putin on. You inhale, reeking of friends lost and hopelessness, but the only showers here are (allegedly) used to blackmail other, more important players.

Do you have what it takes to survive the winter? This, weasels, is where we share our Wisdom.

 

THE WISE OLD WEASEL—RUSSIA

 

INTRODUCTION

“Why does this club hate Russia?” ponders club founder and Soviet sweetheart Jim O’Kelly. Verily, Russia is the most difficult country to play in this club, as it is the least likely to top or split a top.

Perhaps it is because of this club’s proclivity to the Sundstrom/ Armenia opening. Perhaps it is because Germany tends to bounce Sweden. Perhaps it is because two units are often bounced in S01. Perhaps it is the lack of guaranteed builds. Perhaps it is because Russia always happens to look big. Perhaps it is because Germany is too eager to move east. Perhaps it is because it neighbors nearly every nation and has the most number of “strategically imperative” diplomatic conversations early in the game. Perhaps Weasels are just fulfilling their patriotic duty.

Much like matryoshka doll, each Russian problem just opens up into another Russian problem. Playing Russia can be a real bear.

 

YOUR RUSSIAN INSPIRATION

I debated putting the "Miracle on Ice" here, but found this more appropriate. For context, you are the bear. 

 

Quit Stalin and drop by the comments to leave your motherland musings.

Hit the JUMP for Russia stats, correlations, and the part where Jake posts links he knows are broken and reminds himself to correct them later.

Wednesday, 30 November 2016 16:07

The Wise Old Weasel -- Talking Turkey

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Turkey, Thanksgiving cornerstone and diplomatic "Cancer in the Corner," is next up because of the aforementioned holiday.

A reminder of what we're doing here:

Weasels near and far, let us gather and share our collective wisdom on the play of individual powers in this great game. All are encouraged to comment with their perspective on playing each power effectively. For newer weasels, this should be a tremendous resource to quickly learn the game. For older weasels, this blog will provide areas to search for improvement and share discoveries. And for the oldest of Weasels, this blog is an outlet for the fruit of their many years in the hobby. This, Weasels, is where we share our wisdom.

Topics of conversation may include openings, negotiation, alliances, how to solo, how to play from behind, anything and everything that feeds into the proper play of the nation. Reminder: this is specific to club Turkish play under the one true scoring system, Sum of Squares.  

Gobble up your Turkish tactics after the jump.

Wednesday, 05 October 2016 11:55

The Wise Old Weasel -- Germany

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Weasels near and far, let us gather and share our collective wisdom on the play of individual powers in this great game. All are encouraged to comment with their perspective on playing each power effectively. For newer weasels, this should be a tremendous resource to quickly learn the game. For older weasels, this blog will provide areas to search for improvement and share discoveries. And for the oldest of Weasels, this blog is an outlet for the fruit of their many years in the hobby. This, Weasels, is where we share our wisdom.

 

Topics of conversation may include openings, negotiation, alliances, how to solo, how to play from behind, anything and everything that feeds into the proper play of the nation. Reminder: this is specific to club German play under the one true scoring system, Sum of Squares.

First up, we have GERMANY, because of Octoberfest and, more importantly, because it is your writer’s favorite country.

 

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